“I have found that when I am doing something purely for my own sake, it is significantly more difficult to stay committed than if I am doing it for others.” – Dr. Ben Lerner, Body By God
So I have a confession to make.
There’s this guilty little pleasure I’ve been trying to stop indulging in for years now but, up until recently, haven’t been able to. If I’ve tried once I’ve tried a billion times. I just haven’t been able to shake the addiction till just a while ago. Honestly … domain generator . I was almost about to get professional help. It was serious.
Would you like to know what it was?
Of course you would. This is the age of voyeurism. We want to see what’s inside everything don’t we?
And I wish I could tell you. I really do. Unfortunately it’s highly classified information. I could maybe tell you, but then I’d have to send a team of ninja assassins to smoke bomb you and do a high-level, ninja stare tactic to suck the information back out of your mind. And frankly, that would just make me feel even guiltier than I already do. I’m sorry.
So I can’t tell you exactly what it is, but I will say this … it is NOT – I repeat – it is NOT smuggling rare ancient artifacts on the international black market – just in case that’s what you were thinking.
Was that what you were thinking? Don’t think that. You know me better. I don’t like old things.
It’s not even inherently bad really. This is just something that I’ve had a sneaking suspicion is not good for me personally, and I need to stop it in order to take my life to the next level.
I’ve had this suspicion for, oh, I guess about twenty-two years or so now.
That’s a lot of guilt.
“But enough about me, let’s talk about you … what do you think about me?” – Bette Midler, Beaches
But notice what I said … “for me personally.” Any time I’ve tried to stop smuggling these … I mean stop doing this little, innocent, perfectly legal thing, I’ve had “me” on my mind. It’s been all about me. “I need to stop doing this so my life will be better.”
“What’s wrong with having you on your mind, Preston? You are an incredible guy. I look up to you. I love you. We’re naming our next child Preston.”
Ah, thank you. That’s nice; I appreciate that. To answer your question, there’s nothing wrong with it to a certain degree. But if it’s the driving motivating force behind my efforts to succeed then it’s going to take 22 years to accomplish absolutely nothing (apparently).
Allow me to explain …
The other day I was walking out back of my home just looking out at the water and contemplating the misery of my guilty pleasure situation. All of a sudden I heard this conversation start taking place inside my head. It was apparently between someone who hates my guts and some other guy who is a total wussbag.
Now a long time ago I would have immediately identified with the wussbag and thought they were my thoughts, but now I know better. These inner conversations we have all day are important to monitor. We need to quickly decide whether to tune in, listen and learn or tune out, ignore and stay sane. And if we do decide to listen, we need to pay close attention because one or all of the “talkers” more than likely needs to be murdered. The penalty for voices in my head lying to me is instant execution. No mercy. I’m like Judge Dredd in my head.
“He who would be useful, strong, and happy must cease to be a passive receptacle for the negative, beggarly, and impure streams of thought; and as a wise householder commands his servants and invites his guests, so must he learn to command his desires and to say, with authority, what thoughts he shall admit into the mansion of his soul.” – James Allen
This is what you would have heard if you were small enough to fit inside my head and hear the convo:
Voice #1: Loser.
Voice #2: *sigh*
Voice #1: You’re writing a book attempting to unravel the secrets of the universe for the human race and you can’t even get yourself to stop smuggling … I mean doing … you know what you do. Loser.
Voice #2: You’re right. I have no business writing this book. What the heck am I going to do?
Voice #1: I dunno. Lose probably. Loser.
Voice #2: Why do you keep calling me that? I mean it’s true, but couldn’t you get creative and find something else to call me? It’s getting a little
Voice #1 [interrupting]: Loooooooseerrrrrr.
Voice #1: Loser.
Voice #2: *sigh*
At this point I realized Voice #1 and #2 were both traitors. Off with their heads – I killed the conversation.
Right when I did that I had a profound realization. It came out of nowhere. The lights went on, and I realized something potentially life transforming …
I needed to change, not for the sake of a better life, but for the sake of others.
When Awareness comes it always brings its best friend, Freedom.
My guilty pleasure immediately vanished from my life. As I realized that by ridding myself of this despicable habit I would be freed up and more available to help and love others, I suddenly found myself not wanting it anymore.
Ever since then I have had more energy, time, and desire to help people. I’ve found myself doing things I would never do before when I was weighed down by the shackles of my guilty pleasure.
I’ve been calling random people who I intuited may not be doing well and inviting them to my house to talk.
I’ve been dropping people notes to encourage them.
I’ve been washing dishes.
I’ve been conversing with strangers (anyone who knows me and is reading this just fainted).
I’ve been writing more and better amazing blog posts like this.
Long story short, I’ve been more present for people. More engaged.
What Is It You Are Trying To Achieve Right Now?
What is it you are currently struggling the most with in life? Money? Relationships? Addiction? Health?
Is it possible that the hang up isn’t the thing itself; it’s your motive?
Just ask yourself “why?”
Why are you trying to do what you’re trying to do? Who are you trying to please? If the answer is anything less than “God and others” you simply won’t find the energy within you to succeed and sustain.
You need a bigger “WHY.”
You’re not here on earth for you, in case you were thinking differently. You’re here to learn and develop your gifts to the fullest in order to help others learn and develop their gifts to the fullest. You’re not just cheating yourself when you don’t bother trying, try and quit or cave in to temptation. You’re cheating Earth. And Earth, as we all know, is a female. You ever cheat on a female before? Well this one creates tornadoes. I highly don’t recommend pissing her off.
Do it for your spouse. Do it for your kids. Do it for your Creator who is going to ask you what you did with your time here on earth once you meet Him very shortly. Maybe tomorrow. Maybe today if you just fainted from hearing I talked to strangers and hit your head on the way down, in which case I’m wasting my time with you. You’re dead.
What’s your why? Answer honestly in a comment below. If it’s “myself”, be courageous and admit it. Then tell me who it’s going to be from now on.
And fine, you talked me into it; I’ll tell you what my guilty pleasure is (was) …
Picking my nose.
Gross, I know. I feel better confessing it though. Thanks for listening, and enjoy the ninjas.
And don’t forget to click the Facebook and Twitter icons to share the love with your friends!
Verse to memorize this week: “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your strength; and love your neighbor as yourself.” Luke 10:27
Recommended Reading: Body By God, Dr. Ben Lerner
Affirmation for the week: I live to give.