Give me six hours to chop down a tree and I will spend the first four sharpening the axe.
– ABRAHAM LINCOLN
Eat a live frog first thing in the morning, and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.
– MARK TWAIN
I remember what it was like to be normal.
In a way it was great because I had way more friends, but in another way it wasn’t because life, and everything in it, sucked beyond all suckugnition.
Of particular suckiness were Mondays, Monday mornings, and Tuesday through Sunday mornings.
“Ugh. Another day? How do I make these stop?”
“Daddy, why do we keep having all these days and then going to bed at night and then having all these days and then going to bed at night? Will it ever end? Won’t I get bored at doing this stuff again and again and again?”
– Giselle Eisenberg, Cameron Diaz’s daughter in Sex Tape, 2014
Oh, and Mon-Fri afternoons were no good either. I got tired and felt like napping in the ‘noons.
I would think maybe I was an anomaly except for when I Google image searched “Monday quotes” looking for something inspirational to post on my Facebook wall last week about 79,000 versions of this came up:
As I look back on that phase of my life I honestly don’t know what kept me going. Friday and Saturday nights I suppose.
It’s almost like I was on autopilot. An autopilot on a plane of suck.
There were a lot of factors that went in to turning that plane around, but one big one was developing a morning routine conducive to dominating the day.
And not just any morning routine mind you.
The Warrionaire™ morning routine.
“All morning routines are not created equal.”
– PRESTON ELY*
*you have to be super big to quote yourself in your own stuff. don’t try this yet
How we start a thing is generally how it will keep going. And it will tend to keep going with a life of its own. We have more control of it at the start than we do in the middle and end. This is true of almost everything in life: Days, years, businesses, projects, relationships, etc.
Starting well is CRUCIAL.
There was a clinical study done by some really smart foreign dudes with weird names I can’t remember which proved that people have a limited daily supply of self-control. Self-control is like a muscle. It’s strongest in the beginning of its exercise and gradually fatigues.
What does this mean for you?
It means read this blog post and do exactly what it says. Did you even read the paragraph above this??? There was a STUDY, man! THIS IS SERIOUS!
It also means DO THE IMPORTANT (HARD) THINGS FIRST.
Alright no more fooling around; here’s the thesis of this scientifically backed blog post you’re currently not sure why you’re reading:
In life there are wussbags and warriors, moneyless and millionaires. And when warriors and millionaires crossbreed?
They produce warrionaires™.
And warrionaires™ start their mornings a certain way.
Luckily for you I happen to be one, so I’m going to pull the curtain back for you on my personal warrionaire™ morning routine so you can copy and paste it to YOUR LIFE.
(Btw, “warrionaire™” isn’t actually trademarked, but I’m considering it, so I just wanted to see what it looked like on cyber-paper)
Lots of people talk about the value of morning routines, but I don’t see many revealing theirs in detail for some reason.
They saving it for their home study courses or something?
Let’s go …
(only 2% of this is exaggerated btw. 11% tops)
7:14 AM: My eyes open. No alarm clock needed. I know exactly what time it is without looking at clocks or hearing things. It’s seven fourfreakinteen CT (Crush Time; it’s like Mountain Standard Time but with absolutely nothing standard about it. Me and like nine other people live in this time zone. It’s really exclusive. You can apply for citizenship in a comment below. Just tell us why we should let you in.)
What’s that you say? You wake up earlier? Wow. You want an award or something? What do you think this is … a Wake Up competition?? Life is a PRODUCTION and RECOVERY competition.
Want to see what 8 hours of sleep gets you?
This is me in a crushed red velveteen rabbit shirt for some reason when I was 24ish years old. I can’t remember, but I’m hoping this was a Halloween party or something …
NOW … This is me reenacting that scene just last week at age 39 for the sake of contrast …
See what I’m saying? Ageless. The guy to the left of me is my sleep mentor. Double proof.
7:141 AM (that’s 7:14am & 1 second): My feet are planted firmly on the ground, and I’m headed to the bathroom. FAST. It’s on like Donkey Kong. And I don’t even need to go to the bathroom. I just gotta be somewhere (anywhere), and I already feel LATE.
If I lay in bed one second longer the most absurd, negative psychotic thoughts of every horrible thing that could ever potentially happen to me will come funneling into my mind like a mental beer bong. Reeeeally bad beer too. Like … Natural Ice bad. Not the worst, but darn close.
7:15 AM: I arrive at the bathroom. Literally my master bedroom is so big it takes a full 59 seconds to jog from the bed to the bathroom. I’m not bragging either; it’s freaking annoying. I count it towards my cardio for the day.
Yes, I’m writing this post from bed. Yes, we use binoculars to watch TV.
I brush my teeth while grinning at myself in the mirror and pummeling positive affirmations through my mind. I do this to continue protecting myself from the mental Natty Ice Beer Bong that I know is looming somewhere in the ether ready to drown me in mediocrity and destroy my day. Here’s a video reference in case you don’t know what a beer bong is:
How funny would it be if you were shocked to discover this was YOUR grandma?! LOL! “Gran Gran, nooooo!”
7:24 AM: [I’m a thorough brusher] I dip into a steaming hot tub overlooking the water in my backyard and start thanking God for everything I can think of. This would be extraordinarily relaxing and Zenful if I didn’t know that at exactly
7:27 AM: I cannonball myself into a freezing cold pool or ice bath, depending on the season (if it’s an ice bath I tend not to cannonball. I jackknife for safety). I stay there for at least a few minutes submerging my head for as long as possible. I come up for air feeling like Aaron Cross in the opening scene of The Bourne Legacy. I am a force of nature.
Why do I do this?
1. Anthony Robbins told me to. I obey all giants with money, helicopters and stage presence.
2. It sends a clear message to my body and feelings that I am their master. I tell them what to do, not the other way around. I am a warrionaire™; It sets the tone for the day. I’ve already overcome a (minor) fear and achieved something within the first thirteen minutes of consciousness. Momentum has begun.
3. It lets me know I’m awake now. For REALLY awake. It shocks my nervous system and lights up all the fun feel-good neurotransmitters like endorphins, noradrenaline and such. Basically it shakes off the dust of sleep and energizes me for the day.
4. If you study Greek history like I haven’t, you’ll find that the Spartans only took cold showers and baths. They felt that heat was for the weak and cowardly.
Have you seen the movie 300? If I have to choose between comfort and flab or cold and those abs? Shoot. I’ll take the abs. True, they were CGI’d in the movie. But one person’s CGI is another’s reality, that’s what I always say.
Not showing off. Just reminding.
An alternative to this is to dump some ice in your sink, fill it up, and submerge your whole head in it a few times. This is especially recommended if you got a bad night’s sleep. I did it just this morning. Paul Newman used to do it every day, and a lot of “beauty experts” credit it for his youthful appearance in old age. And all these years I thought it was the salad dressing.
7:36 AM: I add 2 tablespoons of Bragg’s apple cider vinegar (Reason: bragg.com/books/acv_excerpt.html) and one tablespoon fresh squeezed lemon juice (Reason: fitlife.tv/lemon-water-miracle-health-potion/) to a 16 ounce bottle of Mountain Valley water. I grab five different types of neuro-supplements that light my brain on fire, and down it all while opening my free arm wide to symbolically receive the day with open arms while running the following thoughts through my mind mid-gulp:
“I’m not tired, I’m energized. I’m energized! I’M ENERGIZED!!! The powerful life of God is flowing through my mind, body, soul and spirit bringing healing and energy and power and vitality. Every single cell of my body is alive and vibrating with love and joy and harmony. I feel like a billion dollars. I’m feelin good like I SHOULD! Today is going to be a great day! I can’t wait to see what fun and exciting things are in store for me today!”
Now, I personally like God. It’s ok if you don’t. You do you. He doesn’t get offended easily so don’t worry. I mean maybe worry a little, but there’s time.
And if you thought the ice thing wakes you up? Wait till you down that cider-lemon-water concoction. You almost have to be just as brave.
7:35 AM: I make a cup of organic Death Wish coffee*, down it, and slam the cup on the counter like a badass cowboy doing a shot of whiskey in an old western movie. It’s too hot, and it hurts. My brain is approaching inferno status. I can’t stop smiling. I’ve been awake for only 21 minutes, and I already have this day by the cahones.
*I know. I know. I’ve been saying coffee is bad for you for … oh … forever or so now. I was wrong; sorry. Apparently there are approximately 10,000 studies showing it’s insanely good for brain health. But it has to be ORGANIC. Death Wish and Green Mountain are the best.
7:38 AM: I read the bible. I’ve been doing this first thing in the morning for 16 years or so now. Prior to doing this I was miserable, broke, lonely, depressed, lost, foolish, clueless, angry … you get the picture. Now I’m the opposite of all those things. Just my personal experience. Read something else to inspire you if the #1 selling book of all time in the history of man doesn’t peek your interest.
If you look in the Bible there’s no birthdays.
– The Artist Formerly Known As PRINCE
See? I’ve been saying all along most holidays are a marketing scam. Gotta read your bible.
8:08 AM: I pray. Prayer, for me, is like meditation on legal steroids that are good for you. It’s simply asking the God who created both you and the entire universe for help. Sounds crazy, I know. Most people wait until they’re either in excruciating pain or minutes from death to try this. I decided to do it in advance; I’m an early adopter. Meditate instead if you want.
8:38 AM: I make my magical morning protein/blueberry/greens shake and take more supplements than you could possibly imagine.
I’ll help your imagination …
Now you may think this is absurd. But, as usual when you’re thinking things … I’m busy winning (yes, with Charlie Sheen).
But if you want to press the issue, let’s play a game. It’s called “Let’s Compare Blood-work!” The winner gets to live until he’s 120.
8:59 AM: I head to the gym. Normally I would head to Gracie Tampa for jiu jitsu and MMA training, my boxing coach for boxing training, or an outdoor boot camp of some sort (depending on the day), but I’m currently rehabbing from a major back surgery so I’m stuck doing physical therapy for now. Oh well. I’ll be back soon. With a vengeance.
9:59 AM: I sit in the sauna at 190 degrees for 30 minutes. It is possibly the hottest sauna on earth. I’m sweating buckets in less than 6 seconds. For a full explanation of why I do this, just read …
10:29 AM: I eat the best organic beef jerky on the planet (http://www.grasslandbeef.com/Detail.bok?no=1024) and drink a green smoothie (12oz water, big handful of spinach, ¼ avocado, ½ cup strawberries, ½ cup pineapple in this blender … http://www.katom.com/141-MX1200XTX.html … regular blender won’t cut it. Literally.)
10:49 AM: I take a 10-minute ice bath for muscle recovery, to reduce inflammation and control my anxiety (yes, I have issues. Do you?). I only do this a few times a week as it’s not really that great for your muscle tissue. Cryotherapy is ideal, and I’ve been waiting for my chiropractor to get one in for about a year now. One of the disadvantages of living in the dirty south is our entrepreneurs, medical doctors and restaurant owners are all still using 1970’s manuals. I may have to just buy one for the house.
11:14 AM: I start printing money. From home.
Now, compare that to the average American’s morning routine:
Wake up to an alarm clock, hit the snooze button infinity times, take a warm cozy shower that leaves you still asleep, groom, sleepwalk out of the house, stop at Starbucks for a gallon of coffee steeped in synthetic fertilizers, pesticides, herbicides, fungicides, insecticides, genocides and a old fashioned doughnut steeped in something similar but probably worse (do they still have those doughnuts? MAN I miss those.), sit in traffic for an hour and work for The Man.
Who do you think is going to die first?
The warrionaire™? Or the average American?
Seriously though, the real question is “Who do you think is going to have a more productive day?”
Come up with your own daily morning routine that exercises your mind, body, and spirit. One that creates a solid base for your day to stand on, and fills you with energy that lasts the day. Start small and build your way up.
Or, if you consider yourself a warrionaire™, try the warrionaire™ morning routine out for 30 days. Tell me what happens on Day 1 in a comment below. Or share YOUR morning routine with all of us!