“Visualize THIS”
Quick amazing story …
I started a new thing recently. I like starting, and I like new; so this was a match made in heaven.
I started visualizing each day before I start it. In detail.
Now this is nothing revolutionary, but it’s a new thing for me. I visualize all the time, but usually for things that are far off in the distance. Like being the first person to float into a black hole and come back like “what? … that was stupid.”
So I’m in the bathtub* visualizing my day. I’m picturing all the usual stuff – being productive, feeling great, making money, fighting crime and winning, etc. And then I had a brilliant idea …
“Why don’t I visualize myself meeting a new gorgeous woman and getting her phone number?”
There’s a good chance you can’t relate to this of course. Because it’s my private visualization.
You visualize what you want (which is what I already have … MONEY), and I’ll visualize what I want. I’m a single prince looking for my princess. And as romantic as that sounds, it is actually INCEST, so I need to think of another metaphor for that.
So I’m out and about being productive, feeling wonderful, and just living the dream so to speak, and I decide to go to Whole Foods for lunch. This is an easy decision because I go there every single day besides that one Leap Year day that magically disappears on us. I still try to go on that day too, but it’s hard.
Whole Foods is like a double whammy bonus place for me. They have two of my favorite things there at all times … healthy food and hot women. The vegan hummus is like catnip to them possibly; I have my suspicions.
Btw, if this offends you, LEAVE – I don’t care.
Actually I do care, I was just trying to act cool. Don’t go. I love you.
I’m walking around the store after lunch, window shopping for salmon, and guess who walks past me ……….. that’s right …….. my best acquaintance Stick Boy.
Me: “Stick Boy what are you doing here? You know you don’t eat healthy. Taco Bell called. They wanna know where you’re at.”
Stick: “I’m looking for chicks dude. Same as you.”
Me: “I’m not looking for chicks idiot. I’m looking for salmon. It’s 2:00 on a Tuesday. Shouldn’t you be working?”
Stick: “LOL!”
Me: [private thought as I walk/run away .. "idiot"]
So feeling three notches stupider from the encounter, I continue walking around leisurely since I really don’t work on Tuesdays or weekdays in general. Stick and I accidentally have this in common.
All of a sudden, out of nowhere, the most gorgeous woman I have ever seen in my past 4 days starts runway walking toward me. She is everything I’ve always wanted and never needed … glamorous, superficial, and totally stuck up. I instantly fall in love.
Official and completely true convo:
Me: “Nice Louis Vuitton bag. That’s very original. Why’s it so big? Whadya got in there …. Weapons?”
Whole Foods Girl: [laughing] “oh yeah … weapons.”
Me: [lusting] “brilliant”
Repentantly I keep walking as if I could care less because I really couldn’t.
That’s a lie. I actually did care I was just trying to act cool again. DANG it I wish I was cool.
That’s another lie. I am cool. Lol. I was just trying to act like a humble nerd because that’s what’s cool in Hollywood now. Nerd is the new stud. Congratulations Stick. You won.
So serendipitously I end up right behind her at the cash register.
Whole Foods Girl: [to Cash Register Boy] “You guys haven’t had vegan hummus in a long time. Why?”
Me: “Because it doesn’t like you.”
Whole Foods Girl: [laughing] “of course not”
Me: “So who do you model for?”
Whole Foods Girl: “How did you know I model?”
Me: “Let’s just say this isn’t my first barbq.”Whole Foods Girl: “I have no idea what that means.”
Me: “Perfect. Hurry up and check out cuz I’m late for nothing. But give me your phone number so I can call you and explain it later.”
Whole Foods Girl: “Sure. Here ya go …”
Alright so here is what you need to understand about all this …
1. This is a 97% true story
2. It is amazing because this NEVER happens to me. Mainly because I’m too lazy to make it happen. I just like women to present themselves to me like I was King Louis the IV, which of course happens never.
3. Not only did my visualization happen, but the girl was a RUNWAY MODEL
Moral to the story … start visualizing your days before you start them. No athlete in the world would compete without visualizing the outcome ahead of time. Why should we be any different?
Tomorrow I am going to visualize myself destroying parallel universes just to see if it makes Stick Boy disappear somehow.
What are YOU going to visualize? Leave a comment below ….
* yes, I am a “bath” guy, and yes, this is where I do my visualizing. Get over it.





